Aging in polyamory

Kathy Labriola has graciously rejoined us this week to discuss her newest book, Polyamorous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships. Kathy is a nurse, counselor, and hypnotherapist in private practice in Berkeley, California. Her mission is providing affordable mental health services to alternative communities. She has been a card-carrying bisexual and polyamorist for fifty years. She is a political activist and community organizer. As you can guess, she is extra crunchy and lives in a housing co-op, rides a bike, and raises chickens and organic vegetables. Her other works about consensual non-monogamy include: Love in Abundance, The Jealousy Workbook, and The Polyamory Break-up Book.

Through her newest book, Kathy has tackled the difficult topics of how polyamory and other nontraditional relationships look later in life, how they change as we get older, challenges aging polyamorous folks face, advantages to being a polyamorous elder, and much more.

During this episode, Kathy shares her inspiration for writing Polyamorous Elders and discusses the following questions and ideas:

• What about physical and mental health concerns and the need for care? On the surface, having multiple partners seems like a fantastic way to share the responsibilities of caring for each other, but how does that look in practice?

• What about retirement communities? Is there a risk of discrimination for non-monogamous folks there, either from other residents or even from the staff?

• Regarding a chapter of Polyamorous Elders titled “The Curious Phenomenon of Successful Older Poly-Mono Couples.” What is this all about?

• What have you found working with your clients and researching the book in terms of how the life change of retirement impacts people?

• Are older people better at navigating non-traditional relationships?

• The last section of your book is on “Polyamory and the Developmental Tasks of Aging.” Research on the developmental tasks in old age is already a fascinating and relatively new topic. What does that mean in the context of polyamory and what is this section about?

• Any insights about wills and power of attorney for polyamorous folks that is especially important to share?

• Sex amongst older polyamorous people.

• What are some of the highlights of reasons why aging can be an advantage or some surprisingly awesome things about dating as an older person?

Find more about Kathy on her website, where you can also order her books. Polyamorous Elders will be published December 15, 2022 and can be preordered at bookshop.org, directly from the publisher, or through any other bookstore, like Barnes & Noble.