Welcome Dr. Joli Hamilton!

Joli has graciously joined us for this episode to talk about her qualitative research on jealousy and her five step approach to managing it. She is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and NPR. 

She’s spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

Today, she covers the following topics with us:

• Why she got into jealousy research and what her methods are.

• Differences in how jealousy shows up for non-monogamous people versus monogamous ones.

• Things that have surprised her while studying jealousy.

• Differences in how people struggle with jealousy since the pandemic restrictions have loosened.

• Her experience podcasting in this field and the reasoning behind the name of her podcast.

Five steps to managing jealousy

1. Notice it (somatic).

2. Name it (ownership of the emotion) and the emotions that come with it. Name the emotions that go with it (anger, rage, sadness, anticipatory grief, shame, fear, etc.).

3. Change the story (and hear other stories).

4. Name your needs and ask for them.

5. Foster compersion (optional).

Find Joli on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @drjoli_hamilton, and at www.JoliQuiz.com and www.theyearofopening.com.