What does open-minded even mean?

A lot of people think they’re open-minded, but as pointed out by the American Psychological Association, factors like social desirability bias and our natural tendency to be unaware of our own biases make our self-assessment pretty unreliable. A better indicator of how open-mindedness is someone’s willingness to be challenged, which aligns with the principles of actively open-minded thinking (AOT). AOT research emphasizes:

• Considering alternate perspectives.

• Sensitivity to contradictory evidence.

• Reflective thinking.

• For example: being challenged by a partner’s feedback and genuinely evaluating how it might improve a situation you are working on together.

This willingness to be challenged has several benefits, both for oneself and one’s relationships, like the following:

• Enhanced relationships: It promotes a deeper understanding and empathy for partners and friends, improves communication, and reduces conflict.

• Personal growth: It helps us confront our own biases and evolve our thinking.

• Reduced conflict: Actively moving away from defensiveness increases people’s capacity for win-win situations and collaborative problem-solving.

Common traps

There are a few common traps we can fall into as well, however. A few of these might include:

• The Comfort-Zone Trap: We tend to stick to familiar patterns, because confronting opposing ideas can cause discomfort, which we tend to avoid. For example: Choosing friends, partners, and social media influencers who largely show our worldview.

• Self-righteousness vs. Curiosity: When we focus on being right, it creates defensiveness and shuts down learning. Cultivating curiosity about opposing viewpoints helps us understand and potentially grow. For example: Rather than immediately dismissing a suggestion due to a gut reaction, take time to ask open-ended questions like, "Can you explain how that might work?" or "What makes you see it that way?"

• Confirmation Bias: We gravitate towards information that confirms our existing beliefs, which hinders our ability to genuinely engage with dissenting views. This, in turn, reinforces echo chambers, especially on the internet, which create a very narrow version of the world. For example: Always going to the same person to vent to who you know will back you up and never question you.

• Arguing vs. Engaging: Are we seeking validation for our own opinions, or is there true willingness to learn and be challenged? Real engagement means putting your own perspective aside for a moment and trying to fully grasp the other person’s viewpoint, practicing understanding before persuasion. Using phrases like “That’s illogical,” or “That makes no sense” tend to shut down conversations rather than open them up.

How to be actionably open-minded

A few tips we have for increasing open-mindedness and trying to see another person’s viewpoint are:

• The 5-Minute Rule: When facing criticism or a strongly opposing view, take a 5-minute breather before responding to prevent knee-jerk defensiveness.

• Seek the Strange: Once a week, intentionally dive into a viewpoint that feels strange and foreign to you. Notice your immediate reactions, but also try to find a common point of understanding.

• Microscript it: Team up with a partner or friend and figure out a microscript to call out moments when either of you fall into argument or shutdown mode.

  • First, identify your triggers: Repetition overload, “You don’t get it” vibes, or the “emotional wall.”

  • Then choose a microscript. You can use pop culture references, quirky catchphrases, inside jokes, anything.

• Remember:

  • Choose a microscript you’ll easily remember.

  • The goal is to break damaging communication patterns, not avoid disagreement.

  • Get creative with microscripts that fit you and your partner’s sense of humor.