Why should we spring clean our relationships?

Spring is a good time to declutter your home and start fresh, or to revitalize it, even. Why not apply something similar to relationships? Cleaning up your relationships doesn’t have to mean throw them all out and start over, but it’s a good idea to take a look at them and decide which ones you want to celebrate, which ones you want to mend, and which ones no longer serve you.

But where do we even start?

If you’re having trouble beginning, look for easy wins (this applies to house cleaning too!). Try evaluating what will have the biggest impact in your life and tackle that first. The other ones will fall in line after that.

And don’t forget to clean up ALL your relationships, not just a few! Take a good look at your relationships with romantic partners, friends, social media followers, coworkers, etc.

The clothing metaphor

We can apply the framework for sorting clothes to cleaning up our relationships. We have three categories:

• Love it: Take the time to appreciate the relationships you love, and find ways to celebrate those people you enjoy being with. By celebrating relationships you love, you make it easier to leave ones that aren’t good.

• Fix it: These relationships might be good ones, but they could need a little fixing, mending, or tailoring so they bring everyone involved more joy. Maybe you have a backlog of unresolved conflicts that implementing a RADAR might address, or you’ve fallen into boring routines that need a little more playfulness or excitement. Sometimes, you might want to sit down with the other person and adjust relationship parameters.

• Donate it: Even if there is nothing wrong with the person themself, sometimes you find yourself uncomfortable, or feeling like it doesn’t fit anymore, like a piece of clothing. Starting with more distant relationships, evaluate if you want to spend less time with someone, redirect energy elsewhere, or de-escalate in some other way.

  • Significant breakups aren’t to be taken lightly, so don’t feel as though you need to rush into a decision, but we’ve all had relationships that we know need to end and yet we lack the motivation to end them. Spring cleaning can be your motivation.

  • Instead of viewing the end of a relationship as a failure or a negative thing, reframe it to mean setting yourself and the other person free to allow other opportunities or connections. Freeing up a partner or friend when you’re not healthy for each other will only benefit you both.

Don’t forget your relationship with yourself!

Clean up your relationship with yourself as well! We all need it sometimes, so here are a few ways you can get started:

1. Clear mental clutter. Not only are you getting rid of old stuff, you’re making room for new, exciting things and having space to appreciate the things you do have .

2. Plant seeds and care for them as they grow (either literally or metaphorically). This could look like:

   • Learning a new skill.

   • Being more mindful.

   • Improving physical and/or mental health.

3. Go back and try some old hobbies or interests. You might remember something you loved doing and rekindle the excitement around it.

4. Allow yourself to be curious and explore something new, such as:

   • Traveling (even a day trip!).

   • Take a new class.

   • Intentionally make time to do nothing.

   • Get out of your comfort zone and try something that intimidates or scares you a bit. You can always leave it if you don’t like it!