Today we're diving into the science of flirting! Nowadays, flirting feels harder than it used to be, and we're going to be bringing some of the research to light about why that is. Flirting isn't a lost art, it's actually an invisible one - we only pick up on someone flirting with us about 28% of the time. We're going to discuss what a "no" looks like, why mirroring and the concept of a gaydar doesn't actually hold up, and what actually DOES help, according to the research.

Today we're tackling another listener question about intimacy that doesn't involve sex. Whether it's a physical reason or just a desire to be intimate without having sex, we all want to connect this way sometimes. We're going to talk about some techniques from sex therapy, the science of great sex, and why non-sexual touch can be so beneficial.

If you want to have one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community!

We're excited to welcome Orit Krug back to the show to talk about anxious attachment from a somatic perspective! We'll be discussing relationship anxiety, the research there is on body-based intervention, and a demo on what addressing these anxieties looks like.

Find more about Orit and her work on her website, follow her on Instagram, access free somatic meditations there, and visit multiamory.com/retreat to learn more about the somatic retreat in Italy that Orit and Dedeker will be co-hosting in September 2026!

This week we're hearing from some of our listeners. We recently polled listeners and asked you all to tell us what the hardest, complicated, messy parts of non-monogamy are, as well as the reasons why you wouldn't trade it for anything. We're going to hear from a few listeners about their struggles and joys, and answer the questions ourselves.

Join our community and get the companion.

Everything ends, from relationships to feelings to situations, to eventually, lives. We often frame this idea as something bad that's better not to think about, but in this episode, we're exploring how learning to accept this impermanence can help us enjoy our lives in the moment more. More importantly, this is a skill we can practice and improve upon. We'll be discussing the research around acceptance of impermanence and talking about how we can strengthen our skills to become better at living in the moment and enjoying our lives, relationships, and experiences.

We're talking about money this week, specifically financial gaps in non-monogamous relationships. Money is one of the most fraught topics in any relationship, and in polyamory things can get even more complex. We're going to be discussing some research about why money creates so much friction in relationships and as always, we'll have some actionable takeaways at the end to help you navigate financial differences in your own relationships.

We're tackling another listener question this week and talking about discomfort and guilt around sex in non-monogamy. Even those of us who have been non-monogamous for a very long time still experience shame and guilt concerning sex with others sometimes. We'll be discussing some personal anecdotes and ways you can tackle these feelings when they come up.

If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber!

Today we're revisiting a topic we've covered before...supporting a partner through a breakup. We're going to focus on managing your own emotions and feelings during a loss you're not a part of, particularly if you have mixed feelings about the situation. We'll discuss the science of the matter, understanding your partner's grief, giving them practical support, and some actionable ways to take care of yourself during the situation.

We're excited to welcome Dr. Nicole Thompson onto the show to talk about her research on relationship anarchy!

Dr. Nicole Thompson (she/her) is a queer Sex and Relationship Therapist, researcher, educator, and host of Modern Anarchy podcast. She is the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she provides psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and leads global educational programs on non-monogamy and sexuality. Dr. Nicole published the first research study on Relationship Anarchy and is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide. Her work explores how pleasure, relationships, and community can support both personal and collective liberation.

Find more about her and her work at https://www.modernanarchypodcast.com/.

We're excited to share a discussion between Dedeker and Marie Thouin about compersion from a Buddhist perspective.

Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy and beyond. She authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion, two pioneering research studies, and the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion. Her work has been featured in several academic conferences, workshops, magazines, and podcasts.
Marie is also a mindful dating & relationship coach who supports people of all ages, genders, and sexual/relationship orientations to create vibrant and intentional love lives—including folks navigating non-monogamy and/or non-traditional relationship structures.

Today we're tackling another listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers!

How do you discern what's a "you" problem versus a problem you should bring up with a partner? We're going to talk about the research on self-disclosure as well as some frameworks and tools to help you tell the difference.

If you want a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming part of our Supercast community at www.multiamory.com/join.

Today we're diving into the topic of long distance relationships! Are they worth having? What does the research say? We'll be discussing all of this and sharing some ways to evaluate whether or not a long distance relationship is best for you. We'll also be going into what makes them so hard, some specific non-monogamous pitfalls, and what makes them actually work better than some people expect.

Today we're excited to be joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick to talk about humor and the part it plays in attraction.

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility.

Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science.

Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test our partners in ways that are sneaky, manipulative, and frankly, exhausting for everyone involved.

This week, we're discussing why the urge to test a partner is actually quite normal, going over what research says about the different kinds of tests people use and what they might reveal, and things you can do instead when you feel the desire to start testing a partner.

This week we're sharing another Q&A episode! We'll be discussing a listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers. Today we're chatting about how to know when you're polysaturated versus feeling restless in a way that signals you need something new.

Want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become a Supercast subscriber!

We're back and refreshed after a week off, and for this week's episode, we're talking about getting back together with an ex. We'll be discussing some personal stories and reasons why we feel the urge to get back together with past partners.

Have you ever felt the "Ick"? Maybe you were in the beginning stages of a relationship and still evaluating if you're attracted to someone, getting to know them, and maybe, just maybe, one day you feel the Ick.

Or maybe this is common for you; you get turned off by someone early on in a relationship and it's starting to feel like your standards are too high or like you can't find anyone you're into. This episode, we're diving into the scientific reasons we sometimes feel the Ick, sharing some personal stories, and how to work with your Ick response in an actionable way.

Today we're going back to our roots and discussing communication again! We're diving into direct and indirect communication during this episode, and talking about high context versus low context communication, the cultural and neurological differences that various types of communication show up in, and more.

Direct communication is often hailed as the "better" form of communication, but we'll explore in this episode why that might not always be the case, and how to bridge the gap when different communication styles clash.

This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family.

If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/questions.

Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love, whether it's family, partners, or friends, feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving into why scheduling feels so terrible, some of the research that reveals what happens when couples share their calendars, and of course, some actionable ways to make calendaring more tolerable in the future.