We're tackling another listener question this week and talking about discomfort and guilt around sex in non-monogamy. Even those of us who have been non-monogamous for a very long time still experience shame and guilt concerning sex with others sometimes. We'll be discussing some personal anecdotes and ways you can tackle these feelings when they come up.

If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber!

Today we're revisiting a topic we've covered before...supporting a partner through a breakup. We're going to focus on managing your own emotions and feelings during a loss you're not a part of, particularly if you have mixed feelings about the situation. We'll discuss the science of the matter, understanding your partner's grief, giving them practical support, and some actionable ways to take care of yourself during the situation.

We're excited to welcome Dr. Nicole Thompson onto the show to talk about her research on relationship anarchy!

Dr. Nicole Thompson (she/her) is a queer Sex and Relationship Therapist, researcher, educator, and host of Modern Anarchy podcast. She is the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she provides psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and leads global educational programs on non-monogamy and sexuality. Dr. Nicole published the first research study on Relationship Anarchy and is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide. Her work explores how pleasure, relationships, and community can support both personal and collective liberation.

Find more about her and her work at https://www.modernanarchypodcast.com/.

We're excited to share a discussion between Dedeker and Marie Thouin about compersion from a Buddhist perspective.

Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy and beyond. She authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion, two pioneering research studies, and the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion. Her work has been featured in several academic conferences, workshops, magazines, and podcasts.
Marie is also a mindful dating & relationship coach who supports people of all ages, genders, and sexual/relationship orientations to create vibrant and intentional love lives—including folks navigating non-monogamy and/or non-traditional relationship structures.

Today we're tackling another listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers!

How do you discern what's a "you" problem versus a problem you should bring up with a partner? We're going to talk about the research on self-disclosure as well as some frameworks and tools to help you tell the difference.

If you want a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming part of our Supercast community at www.multiamory.com/join.

Today we're diving into the topic of long distance relationships! Are they worth having? What does the research say? We'll be discussing all of this and sharing some ways to evaluate whether or not a long distance relationship is best for you. We'll also be going into what makes them so hard, some specific non-monogamous pitfalls, and what makes them actually work better than some people expect.

Today we're excited to be joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick to talk about humor and the part it plays in attraction.

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility.

Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science.

Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test our partners in ways that are sneaky, manipulative, and frankly, exhausting for everyone involved.

This week, we're discussing why the urge to test a partner is actually quite normal, going over what research says about the different kinds of tests people use and what they might reveal, and things you can do instead when you feel the desire to start testing a partner.

This week we're sharing another Q&A episode! We'll be discussing a listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers. Today we're chatting about how to know when you're polysaturated versus feeling restless in a way that signals you need something new.

Want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become a Supercast subscriber!

We're back and refreshed after a week off, and for this week's episode, we're talking about getting back together with an ex. We'll be discussing some personal stories and reasons why we feel the urge to get back together with past partners.

Have you ever felt the "Ick"? Maybe you were in the beginning stages of a relationship and still evaluating if you're attracted to someone, getting to know them, and maybe, just maybe, one day you feel the Ick.

Or maybe this is common for you; you get turned off by someone early on in a relationship and it's starting to feel like your standards are too high or like you can't find anyone you're into. This episode, we're diving into the scientific reasons we sometimes feel the Ick, sharing some personal stories, and how to work with your Ick response in an actionable way.

Today we're going back to our roots and discussing communication again! We're diving into direct and indirect communication during this episode, and talking about high context versus low context communication, the cultural and neurological differences that various types of communication show up in, and more.

Direct communication is often hailed as the "better" form of communication, but we'll explore in this episode why that might not always be the case, and how to bridge the gap when different communication styles clash.

This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family.

If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/questions.

Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love, whether it's family, partners, or friends, feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving into why scheduling feels so terrible, some of the research that reveals what happens when couples share their calendars, and of course, some actionable ways to make calendaring more tolerable in the future.

Today we're excited to be sharing an episode with Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of the Love Factually podcast! We're critiquing Vicky Cristina Barcelona's portrayal of non-monogamy and discussing the film as a whole.

Eli Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. He also serves as a founding co-director of the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement and as the Morton O. Schapiro Fellow at the Institute for Policy Research. His research topics range from marriage to political partisanship. He is the author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage, a co-host of the Love Factually podcast, and a guest essayist for The New York Times. The Economist declared him “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.”

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility.

Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science.

Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and some of the research around jealousy and envy in these situations. We will also dive into some non-escalator milestones that you can consider for non-monogamous, escalator-free relationships, and going into the takeaways from the discussion at the end of the episode.

Today we're diving into a question from one of our listeners about partners who recently left monogamy and are still adjusting to stepping off of the relationship escalator.

If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber.

This week we're featuring an episode from our friends Emma and Fin at Normalizing Non-Monogamy with guests Gary Ware and our own Jase Lindgren! Emma, Fin, Gary, and Jase talk about play during this interview, how important it is for our health and wellbeing, and how to frame play as resistance in times of geopolitical upheaval.

Be sure to check out Normalizing Non-Monogamy's other episodes and take a look at Breakthrough Play at https://www.breakthroughplay.com/ to learn more about Gary! Check out the upcoming events to learn more about Relationship Recess happening in May.

Today we're tackling a concept that's on a lot of people's minds lately: burnout. Specifically, we'll be discussing dating burnout and fatigue, which seem to be rife on social media, dating apps, articles, what have you. We'll be diving into what the data says about the increase in dating apps, how it's creating fatigue across the dating community, and whether meeting online or organically is better. Lastly, we'll be deciding if we're doomed when it comes to dating, or are there actionable takeaways we can use to improve our dating experiences?

The research used in this episode can be found here:

https://medium.com/@metbynick/the-burnout-epidemic-how-dating-apps-are-adding-fuel-to-an-already-raging-fire-9f2d4a1555e8

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/31/well/mind/burnout-online-dating-apps.html

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/

https://screenshot-media.com/the-future/dating/couples-meet-online-less-happy/

https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now

Today we're talking about time, both quality and quantity of it, and what to do if you and your partner end up clashing over it. We're going to discuss some research about shared time together as well as some of the different types of time you could be lacking in your relationship. Whether you're dating someone busy or you're the one who struggles finding time for a partner, we'll have actionable tips about what to do and not do when having conflicts about time together.

Here's a handy PDF Guide for this episode: What Type of Time Are You Craving?

If you'd like the PDF guide for this episode and you're not a subscriber yet, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases.