Today we're excited to be joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick to talk about humor and the part it plays in attraction.

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility.

Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science.

Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test our partners in ways that are sneaky, manipulative, and frankly, exhausting for everyone involved.

This week, we're discussing why the urge to test a partner is actually quite normal, going over what research says about the different kinds of tests people use and what they might reveal, and things you can do instead when you feel the desire to start testing a partner.

This week we're sharing another Q&A episode! We'll be discussing a listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers. Today we're chatting about how to know when you're polysaturated versus feeling restless in a way that signals you need something new.

Want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become a Supercast subscriber!

We're back and refreshed after a week off, and for this week's episode, we're talking about getting back together with an ex. We'll be discussing some personal stories and reasons why we feel the urge to get back together with past partners.

Have you ever felt the "Ick"? Maybe you were in the beginning stages of a relationship and still evaluating if you're attracted to someone, getting to know them, and maybe, just maybe, one day you feel the Ick.

Or maybe this is common for you; you get turned off by someone early on in a relationship and it's starting to feel like your standards are too high or like you can't find anyone you're into. This episode, we're diving into the scientific reasons we sometimes feel the Ick, sharing some personal stories, and how to work with your Ick response in an actionable way.

Today we're going back to our roots and discussing communication again! We're diving into direct and indirect communication during this episode, and talking about high context versus low context communication, the cultural and neurological differences that various types of communication show up in, and more.

Direct communication is often hailed as the "better" form of communication, but we'll explore in this episode why that might not always be the case, and how to bridge the gap when different communication styles clash.

This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family.

If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/questions.

Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love, whether it's family, partners, or friends, feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving into why scheduling feels so terrible, some of the research that reveals what happens when couples share their calendars, and of course, some actionable ways to make calendaring more tolerable in the future.

Today we're excited to be sharing an episode with Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of the Love Factually podcast! We're critiquing Vicky Cristina Barcelona's portrayal of non-monogamy and discussing the film as a whole.

Eli Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. He also serves as a founding co-director of the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement and as the Morton O. Schapiro Fellow at the Institute for Policy Research. His research topics range from marriage to political partisanship. He is the author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage, a co-host of the Love Factually podcast, and a guest essayist for The New York Times. The Economist declared him “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.”

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility.

Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science.

Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and some of the research around jealousy and envy in these situations. We will also dive into some non-escalator milestones that you can consider for non-monogamous, escalator-free relationships, and going into the takeaways from the discussion at the end of the episode.

Today we're diving into a question from one of our listeners about partners who recently left monogamy and are still adjusting to stepping off of the relationship escalator.

If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber.

This week we're featuring an episode from our friends Emma and Fin at Normalizing Non-Monogamy with guests Gary Ware and our own Jase Lindgren! Emma, Fin, Gary, and Jase talk about play during this interview, how important it is for our health and wellbeing, and how to frame play as resistance in times of geopolitical upheaval.

Be sure to check out Normalizing Non-Monogamy's other episodes and take a look at Breakthrough Play at https://www.breakthroughplay.com/ to learn more about Gary! Check out the upcoming events to learn more about Relationship Recess happening in May.

Today we're tackling a concept that's on a lot of people's minds lately: burnout. Specifically, we'll be discussing dating burnout and fatigue, which seem to be rife on social media, dating apps, articles, what have you. We'll be diving into what the data says about the increase in dating apps, how it's creating fatigue across the dating community, and whether meeting online or organically is better. Lastly, we'll be deciding if we're doomed when it comes to dating, or are there actionable takeaways we can use to improve our dating experiences?

The research used in this episode can be found here:

https://medium.com/@metbynick/the-burnout-epidemic-how-dating-apps-are-adding-fuel-to-an-already-raging-fire-9f2d4a1555e8

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/31/well/mind/burnout-online-dating-apps.html

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/

https://screenshot-media.com/the-future/dating/couples-meet-online-less-happy/

https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now

Today we're talking about time, both quality and quantity of it, and what to do if you and your partner end up clashing over it. We're going to discuss some research about shared time together as well as some of the different types of time you could be lacking in your relationship. Whether you're dating someone busy or you're the one who struggles finding time for a partner, we'll have actionable tips about what to do and not do when having conflicts about time together.

Here's a handy PDF Guide for this episode: What Type of Time Are You Craving?

If you'd like the PDF guide for this episode and you're not a subscriber yet, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases.

Today we're answering a question about toxic individuality, inspired by a post about not being able to share certain things with a partner. We'll touch on the idea of how much is too much information to share with partners about each other, managing compulsory non-monogamous baggage, and more.

If you want a question answered on a future episode, consider joining our Supercast community!

Today we're diving into one of our favorite things - data! We're excited to welcome Sy Dusk and Alexandra Kilpatrick from Feeld. Sy is a data analyst and Alexandra is the head of UX research at Feeld, and both of them helped analyze our co-sponsored research survey on non-monogamy (find the study here). We'll be exploring what the data says about how non-monogamous folks date, what labels mean or don't mean, how polycules are configured, and some of the challenges facing our community.

Find Feeld's data blog here!

Sy Dusk uses data to shine a light on the nuances of desire, identity, and culture. They specialize in sexuality, relationships, and dating. Sy is currently a data analyst at Feeld working on creating an unparalleled experience for non-monogamous daters.

Alexandra Kilpatrick is the Head of UXR at Feeld, where she has worked for the past year and a half. She has an academic background in Digital Anthropology, and prior to Feeld, researched identity information in virtual worlds such as the Metaverse. Often collaborating with academics, her work brings big-picture cultural insight into how people date, connect, and explore sexuality. She cares deeply about the duty of care for members and about conducting research ethically, responsibly, and with genuine respect for the communities Feeld serves.

Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin and Dr. Amy Moors to discuss the recent results of the largest non-monogamy survey done to date.

Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is the Founder & Executive Director of OPEN, a grassroots nonprofit advancing legal rights and cultural acceptance for non-monogamy. Under his leadership, OPEN has passed landmark non-discrimination protections in multiple cities and established itself as a leading voice in the rapidly growing movement for relationship freedom.

A repeat nonprofit founder with over a decade of movement-building experience, Brett has led global grassroots campaigns reaching millions, including for the Emmy-winning documentary film "The Story of Plastic." His work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, CNN, and NBC.

Dr. Amy C. Moors is an Assistant Professor of Psychology and Faculty Affiliate in Engineering at Chapman University. She serves as a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and the founding co-chair of the American Psychological Association’s Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy. Dr. Moors has published more than 60 journal articles and dozens of educational materials on topics related to sexuality and consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Moors has received several awards for her pioneering research on polyamorous, swinging, and other forms of consensually non-monogamous relationships, including the Kenneth R. Haslam, MD, Relationship Diversity Research Award and the Distinguished Professional Contribution Award from the American Psychological Association Division 44.

Find Dr. Moors on social media @professormoors, and find more about OPEN and Brett at www.open-love.org.

Today we're tackling a listener question from one of our Supercast supporters. We'll be discussing in depth how to help regulate yourself when your partner goes on dates, even if you have a solid self care plan in place.

If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber!

This week, we're sharing a remastered version of an episode that aired back in 2023. This is the episode to share with parents, family, or other loved ones when you've come out as non-monogamous to them.

For those who've had a loved one come out recently as non-monogamous, polyamorous, or relationship anarchist, this episode is for you! Maybe you’re feeling confused. Maybe you’re feeling scared for their well being. Maybe you’ve never even heard the term polyamorous or non-monogamous until this very moment! Today we are going to be going back to the basics for all you out there who may be super new to the concept of polyamory, some tactics for how to react to your loved one’s revelation, and what you can expect for the future.

Some resources we discuss in this episode are:

When Someone You Love is Polyamorous by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff

Information on Polyamory by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff

Libby Sinback's Podcast about Coming Out to Parents

Helpful Terms and Information about Polyamory

Resources For Those Coming Out

More Information about Coming Out as Non-Monogamous

We're excited to invite Stacey McLarty to the show as our guest today!

Stacey is a Texas attorney who supports individuals and chosen families through affirming, wholistic legal services. She combines two decades of legal experience with her own lived experience in the non-monogamy, kink, and burner communities. She regularly leads workshops on legal and relationship topics and is currently writing legal guides for non-monogamous and kinky folks. Stacey serves on the board of OPEN—the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy—advocating for visibility and legal recognition. Her practice reflects her belief that all consenting adults deserve the freedom to define love, family, and commitment on their own terms.

Visit https://chosenfamilylawtx.com/ for more information about legal help for chosen family in Texas.