Chewing vs. spewing

Some of us tend to process ideas and feelings externally (a spewer), and others more internally (a chewer). These processing styles vary from person to person, and sometimes within relationships they can be a point of conflict if two people process differently.

Spewers

Spewers tend to exhibit these behaviors and traits, or ones similar to these:

• Good brainstorming skills in a group

• Thinking out loud

• Talking oneself through a problem and/or solution, or talk out stressful times

Each type of processing has its strongpoints, and spewers often have the advantages of:

• Bringing a sense of flexibility to conversations and the ability to change the course of thoughts and feelings as they are processed

• May be good at generating new ideas, new thoughts, or new angles for assessing a problem

And because every upside has to have its downside, some challenges that spewers may face are:

• Often being seen as too chatty or too indecisive

• If a spewer is in a leadership position, spewing can lead to words being interpreted as directives

• A spewer may feel hurt, lonely, or abandoned if/when someone doesn’t have the time, space, or energy to talk things out or listen

• Generally have a hard time keeping feelings and thoughts inside, even if it’s not the proper time to talk about them

Chewers

Chewers are internal processors, and often:

• Prefer clear agendas and time to prep beforehand

• Need time alone with their thoughts and ideas

• Dislike being asked to comment about something on the spot

• May listen more than talking

Some of the strengths that chewers have are:

• They deliberate over words very carefully, which usually means their communication is clear

• Thoughts, ideas, and next course of action are often pretty solidified by the time they’re verbally expressed

Chewer challenges:

• Can be seen as not a team player

• May be seen as shutting down or shutting out

• May be easily exhausted by external processing situations

Listen to the full episode to learn some myths about chewers and spewers, as well as how each one may cope differently than the other.