Negativity bias in media and relationships

Recent research (within the last two years or so) has shown that news headlines that evoke anger and fear have increased within the last two decades, reinforcing the idea that negativity drives online media consumption.

A wide variety of researchers and therapists agree that consuming negative news can lead to:

• Increased distress, anxiety and depression, even when the news is relatively mundane.

• Acute stress reactions and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

• Worsening of personal worries and concerns.

• Development of fears and phobias about rare but horrible events like plane crashes or terrorist attacks.

• Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair.

• Heightened baseline stress levels.

• Activation of the sympathetic nervous system, causing physiological stress responses.

• Increased levels of cortisol (the body's main stress hormone).

• Physical symptoms like muscle tension, chest pain, and digestive issues.

Clearly, negative media has an impact on us. Therefore, it must also have an impact on our relationships. There’s research showing that it can contribute to stress and unhappiness in our partnerships in a few key areas:

• Increased Stress and Anxiety

  • More conflict between partners.

  • Decreased emotional availability.

  • Reduced relationship satisfaction.

• Decreased Quality Time

  Overconsumption of negative media, especially on social media platforms, can lead to:

  • Less quality time spent together as a couple.

  • Phubbing behaviors (snubbing one's partner by focusing on a smartphone).

  • Lower relationship satisfaction and increased conflict.

  • Cognitive distraction. Giving your partner “cognitive room” is an important aspect of showing care and building intimacy, but that is harder if we’re distracted by our worries from what we read/watch.

• Negative Mood Contamination

  The negative emotions elicited by fearful news consumption can transfer to interactions with one's partner, resulting in:

  • More negative communication patterns.

  • Lower relationship satisfaction.

• Displacement of Relationship Activities

  • Time spent consuming negative media may displace time that could be spent on relationship-building activities.

  • The “urgency” created by negative news causes it to be more addicting and for us to over-value our consumption of it.

So how do we combat it?

There are a few ways we can be conscious of our media consumption and start to decrease its affect on our lives and relationships to foster better partnerships and healthier lives

1. Monitor your media diet:

• If watching news is your kryptonite, try limiting yourself to only reading.

• Set aside specific times for news consumption and avoid it all other times.

• Switch up your news sources.

• Before you click on anything, first look at the headlines and see if you can spot the negative spin and how much it makes you want to click on it.

• Jase uses Ground News, which has helped his consumption some.

2. Make your own positive activities:

• Engaging in joint family activities away from screens

• There was research during the pandemic that showed specifically families or couples who did regular activities together (walks, movie night, games, exercise, etc) had higher levels of relationships satisfaction compared to families who did not do that regularly, and had higher levels of anxiety and fear.

• There have been many studies that have studied the ratio of positive to negative interactions in couples and in workplaces, and it has been pretty universal that a ratio of 3:1 positive to negative interactions shows better satisfaction AND better performance than teams with less than that.

• The Gottmans suggest even higher ratios for romantic couples to have healthy, happy relationships. 

• If the media you consume is negatively affecting that, then this is something you urgently need to change.

3. Look for inspiration to balance it out!

• Look for positive shared experiences within your relationships.

• If there is a cause you find particularly important, try to look for things that have been successful for changing it (and also notice what people are doing that isn’t actually productive, even though it may feel like it).

• Check out Fix The News for a weekly dose of positive news that acknowledges problems but showcases the areas where there is hope and where we are making progress.