Posts in Podcast
538 - When Knowing Better Doesn't Mean Doing Better
538 - When Knowing Better Doesn't Mean Doing Better

Today, we're discussing why we struggle to put the communication and relationship lessons we learn into practice. Current generations are more therapy-literate than ever, but that doesn't mean our relationships are healthier. What happens when everyone knows the psychological buzzwords but hasn't done the deeper work of integration and change? We're diving into the reasons why learning how to do relationships better isn’t always enough, talk about the research available on the topic, and of course, finally give you some practical tools to bridge the gap between insight and real change.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamorypsychology, therapy, communication, relationship advice, self help
537 - Breaking the Cycle: Releasing the Grip of Control
537 - Breaking the Cycle: Releasing the Grip of Control

Welcome back to our series on control! This week, we're talking about control from the perspective of the person who wants to have the control or power in the relationship. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might want to control another person, which we're going to explore in this episode. We'll also discuss the science of control, and talk about a few ways one can move away from controlling behavior and towards a more loving and equitable relationship.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamorycontrol in relationships, control, controlling, how to stop being controlling, power dynamics, power, power in relationships
536 - Finding Your Voice: Navigating Control and Taking Back Your Power in Relationships
536 - Finding Your Voice: Navigating Control and Taking Back Your Power in Relationships

Welcome to part one of our deep dive into control in relationships! Every relationship has power dynamics, but when they get out of control it can be devastating. In this episode, we'll be discussing the experience of loss of control in a relationship, why it might happen, and what to do if you find yourself on this end of the control spectrum.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamorycontrol, power, power dynamics, control in relationships
535 - How Do You Maintain Equity Across Multiple Relationships? Listener Q&A
535 - How Do You Maintain Equity Across Multiple Relationships? Listener Q&A

Today we're tackling a question from one of our Supercast subscribers about equity in multiple relationships, feel prioritized, and how to handle tough conversations about energy, money, and mismatched desire in relationships.

Become one of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join to get your question answered on a future Q&A episode!

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamoryQ&A episode, Q&A, Q & A, listener questions
534 - When We're Asked to Change (and When It's Okay to Refuse)
534 - When We're Asked to Change (and When It's Okay to Refuse)

This week, we're diving into what happens when a partner asks you to change, whether it's a small behavioral change or a big fundamental or values change. Regardless of what kind, change can be difficult, for both the one asking for change and the one being asked to change. We're going to discuss the feelings that arise when being asked to change as well as evaluating what is and isn't acceptable to ask of someone.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamorychange, relationships, changing a person, asking to change
533 - How to be Dateable with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
533 - How to be Dateable with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu

Today we're joined by Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu from the podcast Dateable to talk about--you guessed it--how to be dateable. We're going to be talking about traditional dating advice, dating archetypes, different perspectives on dating, and more!

Julie and Yue are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. They’re the authors of How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love and the co-hosts of the hit podcast Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamoryDateable, Julie Krafchick, Yue Xu, dating tips, dating advice, guests
532 - Is Attachment Theory Just Bullsh*t?
532 - Is Attachment Theory Just Bullsh*t?

We're returning to attachment theory this week as we go over some of the criticisms it has faced since rising in popularity. For some, attachment theory has been a powerful tool of self-discovery, but others dismiss it as pseudo pop psychology. Where do you fall on that spectrum of credibility?

Today we're discussing the cases for and against attachment theory and whether or not non-monogamy can help heal unhealthy attachments.

For more fundamentals on attachment theory, check out https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/291-attachment-theory-and-polyamory and https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/82-attachment-styles

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamoryattachment theory, attachment style, attachment, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment, disorganized attachment
531 - What's Wrong with Enjoying Consensual Sex with Multiple People? Listener Q&A
531 - What's Wrong with Enjoying Consensual Sex with Multiple People? Listener Q&A

We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamoryQ&A, Q&A episode, listener questions, Q & A
530 - Why You Keep Having the Same Fight – 3 Toxic Patterns that Keep Us Stuck
530 - Why You Keep Having the Same Fight – 3 Toxic Patterns that Keep Us Stuck

Today we're bringing back a popular episode on relationship conflict. We're talking about three different patterns that show up in conflicts, how to recognize which one is showing up for yourself, and discuss some ways to disrupt the pattern and create new choreography with your partner(s).

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamorypatterns, toxic patterns, demon dance battles, conflict management, conflict patterns, fighting, fight choreography
529 - Yes, You Can Think Your Way Out of Your Feelings (Sometimes)
529 - Yes, You Can Think Your Way Out of Your Feelings (Sometimes)

Today we're discussing cognitive reappraisal, or the notion of thinking your way out of a negative emotional response to a given situation. We'll be going over research available on cognitive reappraisal, what it looks like in real life, and whether or not it's just gaslighting yourself into feeling like your relationship is better than it actually is.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

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PodcastMultiamorycognitive reappraisal, relationships, feelings, emotions
528 - The Art of Stepping Back: De-escalation
528 - The Art of Stepping Back: De-escalation

This week we're getting into the nitty gritty details of ending relationships, whether it's by breaking up or de-escalating. We'll be discussing all the different ways relationships constantly change, defining some terms for uncoupling, how to navigate the challenges of separating, and some practical ways you can make these transitions smoother, healthier, and a more positive experience for everyone.

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PodcastMultiamoryde-escalating, breakup, breakups, ending relationships, ending a relationship, uncoupling
527 - Why Your Search for Closure Isn't Working
527 - Why Your Search for Closure Isn't Working

Today we're talking about a universal human experience: wanting to feel better after a relationship ends. However, a lot of us end up seeking the wrong type of closure, and we can stay stuck in pain for even longer. In this episode we're going to discuss the difference between searching for answers and wanting to feel true acceptance, the science behind our need for closure, and of course, some practical tools to figure out what kind of closure you might need.

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PodcastMultiamoryclosure, types of closure, relationships ending, breakups
526 - How do you make space for a primary relationship while keeping a non-primary one? Listener Q&A
526 - How do you make space for a primary relationship while keeping a non-primary one? Listener Q&A

Today we're answering some more listener questions! We'll be tackling some questions about moving too fast in relationships, relationship hierarchy, and primary versus non-primary relationships.

Want your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Become on of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join on a sliding scale!

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PodcastMultiamorylistener questions, Q & A, Q&A, Q&A episode
525 - Your Metamour is Not the Villain with Alex Alberto
525 - Your Metamour is Not the Villain with Alex Alberto

Today we're talking about metamour relationships with Alex Alberto. Alex is a queer author, publisher, and filmmaker. Last year, Alex published their memoir, “Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home” through Quilted Press, a collective of independent authors they co-founded. This year, Alex is producing a short film called “Coming Out Polyamorous for Thanksgiving,” which is based on an essay from Entwined. Alex also leads writers' retreats and courses at Scrappy Literary, and some of their classes focus on helping writers of all levels write about non-monogamy and unconventional relationships. Alex is originally from Montreal but lives in Upstate New York with their partner, metamour, and kids.

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PodcastMultiamoryAlex Alberto, metamours, metamour
524 - From Worried to Empowered: Taking Action for Relationship Rights with Experts Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlain
524 - From Worried to Empowered: Taking Action for Relationship Rights with Experts Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlain

We're excited to welcome Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlain back to the show to discuss advocacy, relationship rights, and more.

Diana Adams (they/them) is an international legal leader in advocacy for queer family forms beyond the romantic dyad. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit advocating for diverse family structures, & runs a boutique law firm providing mediation services nationwide for those hoping to negotiate intentional or polyamorous families. Diana’s TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ explains their expansive vision of family. Find them on all socials @DianaAdamsEsq.

Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is a social impact organizer with over a decade of leadership experience building a more just and joyous future. He is the founder and Executive Director of OPEN, the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. Prior to launching OPEN, Brett worked in the environmental movement as the Director of Community Engagement at The Story of Stuff Project and the co-founder of the Post Landfill Action Network.

Check out the legislative toolkit from OPEN for ways to help further local legislation in your area: harvard.turtl.co/story/polyamory-legislative-toolkit.

Download the 5 calls app to contact your representatives and hold them accountable: https://5calls.org/.

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PodcastMultiamoryDiana Adams, Brett Chamberlin, Chosen Family Law Center, law, relationship rights, OPEN
523 - How do I cultivate polyamorous community? Listener Q&A
523 - How do I cultivate polyamorous community? Listener Q&A

We're back with another Q&A episode! Today we're answering some questions from our Supercast subscribers about organizing local polyamory meetups, how to handle guilt you feel even when a partner is telling you not to feel guilty, and strategies to deal with missing a partner you don't live with.

If you want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/join to become one of our Supercast subscribers!

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PodcastMultiamoryQ&A, Q&A episode, listener questions, supercast, supercast subscribers, community, guilt
522 - The Power of Denial: Are You Lying to Yourself?
522 - The Power of Denial: Are You Lying to Yourself?

Today we're tackling a heavy topic: denial. Most of us have dealt with this at one point or another, especially when it comes to relationships, whether it's denial that that relationship is over or whether or not someone is attracted to you. We'll be doing a deep dive into why we often fall into denial, whether or not denial can be a helpful force in our lives, and how to know if you're in denial.

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PodcastMultiamorydenial, relationships, lying
521 - Finding Fairness in Non-monogamy
521 - Finding Fairness in Non-monogamy

Today we're talking about equity, equality, and fairness in all relationships, but particularly non-monogamous ones. We'll discuss the differences between equity and equality, perceived fairness, equity among multiple partners, and more! As always, we'll have some practical takeaways at the end of the episode to help you be more aware of equity and fairness in your relationships and how to communicate about it better.

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PodcastMultiamoryfairness, equity, equality, relationship equality
520 - Do You Treat Your Partner Worse Than You Treat Your Friends?
520 - Do You Treat Your Partner Worse Than You Treat Your Friends?

Today we're chatting about romantic relationships, friendships, and the ways we often treat the two differently. Why do we think of our romantic partners as our most intimate and important connections, and yet sometimes don't treat them with the same respect and kindness we do our friends? We'll be talking about why we tend to do this and how we can foster more understanding in romantic relationships.

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PodcastMultiamorypartners, partner relationships, friendships, friends
519 - Competing for Attention: Why Your Partner's Distraction Hurts
519 - Competing for Attention: Why Your Partner's Distraction Hurts

Today we're talking about attention and attentiveness as a relationship resource. It's natural for us to want to feel loved, important, and listened to, especially by our partners and family. But distraction happens, particularly nowadays in a digital age, and if your partner is distracted by work, their phone, other partners, or just other life priorities, it can be really distressing to feel like there’s a lack of attention. We're going to be discussing why this can be so upsetting, the most important things to know about attentiveness, and how to cope if you’re feeling that lack of attention.

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PodcastMultiamoryattention, distraction, attentiveness