Being single today

We’re past breakup season at this point, and so it’s time to talk about independence! Independence is something we should all strive for, whether we’re single or not, and so we’re going over some trends and research about the landscape of being single:

• According to the Pew Research Center, around 40% of U.S. adults live unpartnered: that's an increase from 29% in 1990.

  • More specifically, never-married adults ages 25-54 make up a sizable chunk of the single population, which is a dramatic 14-point rise to 33% since 1990.

• Research shows that approximately half of today's singles lack interest in dating or seeking relationships.

• A 2022 study identified singles as cherishing personal space, the pursuit of their goals, and freedom from a partner's dictates. 

  • Psychologist Geoff MacDonald's research underscores that unpartnered people tend to prioritize mental and physical well-being alongside strong relationships with their families. Romantic endeavors sometimes fall lower on their list of priorities.

• It's essential to challenge the harmful perception that being single automatically means unhappy. There's ample evidence proving people within relationships can be miserable and those embracing a single life can thrive.

The greedy marriage

Sometimes, romantic relationships can shrink someone’s broader social circle, or consume your time and energy and restricting opportunities for self-development.

In their paper “Marriage: the Good, the Bad, and the Greedy," Naomi Gerstel of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and Natalia Sarkisian of Boston College found that based on two nation-wide surveys, married couples spend less time than singles calling, writing, and visiting with their friends, neighbors, and extended family.

Single people also often maintain stronger friendships and social ties, which contributes to an overall happiness advantage.

There’s also the risk of overdependence in relationships: relying excessively on a partner for happiness or identity can be detrimental. It’s common for individual passions and hobbies take a backseat.

According to Geoff MacDonald, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto who researches relationships and singlehood:

• People who are satisfied with their sex life are happier to be single.

• In general, coupled people have more sex than single people.

• The singles who are happiest tend to be the ones with fulfilling sex lives.

• People become more satisfied with being single around age 40.

• People who really wanted partnership have found it.

• Overall life satisfaction has been shown to go up around that time.

• People have enough experience to establish their own values and interests instead of falling into societal pressure.

Prioritize your own desires

Regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s crucial for your long-term emotional wellbeing to foster your own passions. Prioritizing your dreams and needs doesn’t only apply to single people!

Strong bonds with friends, family, and community are vital as well, and nurturing those relationships with some quality time is a good idea.

Make a point to set time aside for hobbies and activities you personally enjoy.

Work on developing self-sufficiency and meeting your own needs to avoid having your happiness become entirely partner-dependent.