At Multiamory, we generally discourage people from building their relationships on a basis of strict, primary-secondary hierarchy. However, primary-secondary relationships are still very common in the polyamorous community. All three of us have engaged in these kind of relationships at one point or another, for better or worse. In this episode, we talk about the experience of being a secondary partner, and we give our advice to secondaries for crafting relationships that will keep them safe, happy, and sane.