132 - The Ethical Slut 20th Anniversary with Janet Hardy

The Ethical Slut, long considered to be the "Bible" of polyamory and alternative relationships, is celebrating its 20th anniversay with a new, updated edition! The book had an incredible impact on each of our lives, and we are so excited to be speaking to co-author and educator Janet Hardy. Janet shares with us what's new in the updated edition, what she sees for the future of non-monogamous relationships, and her one piece of advice for anyone considering polyamory

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131 - Dumpster Fire Relationships

The dumpster fire relationship: you know it when you see it. Constant fights, endless drama, and an umatched level of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we'll discuss signs that your relationship might be a total dumpster fire, how to evaluate whether or not it's time to leave, plus practical advice on escaping a draining relationship with minimal collateral damage

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130 - Emotional Labor

This week we're digging in to emotional labor -- the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it's not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. This disproportionately tends to happen to women, but it can occur regardless of sex or gender. Tune in to find out the subtle ways that emotional labor can stack, and how to evaluate your relationships for emotional labor balance or imbalance.

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128 - How to Support Your Partner Through a Break-Up

Break ups suck. They suck a little less if you're not the one going through it, but if it's your partner who's just been dumped, then you may find yourself shouldering the burden of some of their suck as well. In this episode we talk about the ways to care for your partner, your self, and your relationship when your partner is going through a break-up or other turbulent period of life. 

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127 - Relationship Agreement Pitfalls

This week we're discussing agreement pitfalls -- common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and your partner conduct relationships in the exact same way? Is it ethical to ask a partner to check in with you before they get sexual on a date with someone else? Tune in to hear our thoughts on these questions and more.

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125 - Researching Non-Monogamous Relationships (with researcher Ryan Witherspoon)

This week the Multiamory crew gets to pick the brain of researcher, educator, and Ph.D candidate Ryan Witherpsoon. Ryan has specialized in studying consensual non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM, as well as spearheading several research studies on non-traditional relationships. In this episode, we cover the current state of non-monogamy research, particular challenges that arise when studying polyamorous relationships, and the findings of his most recent study on stigma toward consensual non-monogamy. 

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124 - The Dating Advice Girl Talks Polyamory

This week we are welcoming special guest Erin Tillman, a.k.a. The Dating Advice Girl. Erin has coached many singles through the process of creating a dating profile and going on dates without getting burnt out in the process. Even better, Erin is tuned in to the polyamorous and queer communities. She shares with us her pro tips on messaging, first dates, and how much to disclose in your dating profile when you're seeking a non-traditional match (or two). 

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122 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions

This week we are talking about...you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05.

Covered in this episode:
-- How can a straight, cisgender man ask for cuddles or affectionate touch without it being interpreted as a come-on?

-- How can I let go of the need to make sure my husband only ever tries new experiences for the first time with me, instead of with other partners?

-- My husband wants our other relationships to be more casual. I want them to be more serious. How do we figure out something that will make both of us happy?

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120 - 7 Strategies for Successful Long-Distance Relationships

2/3rds of the Multiamory crew is once again heading off for global adventures, which means it's time to talk about long-distance relationships. In this episode, we highlight seven specific strategies that will help your geographically-challenged relationship to flourish and thrive, including tactics for fostering intimacy, communication, and handling the unique challenges presented to multi-partner relationships.

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118 - Helping Your Partner Open Up

Whether you're opening up an existing relationship or beginning a relationship with someone who is new to polyamory, it can be challenging to know the best way to encourage them to feel safe venturing into the world of non-monogamy. In this episode we explore different challenges and discuss what we've found to be the most effective strategies and tools for making that experience a positive one...

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117 - Why Do You Want What You Want?

This week we are tackling the complicated task of deconstructing desire. In life, we often set our sights on accomplishing a particular goal or attaining a particular obejct or status, and the same is true with relationships and sex. In this episode, we dig into the reasons why we want the things that we want, often through socialization, comparisons to other people, and our perceptions of what will make us happy. 

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116 - Being Polyamorous in a Monogamous World (Live Show)

In this very special live show, the Multiamory crew digs into the day-to-day foibles of having non-normative relationships in a hetero-mono-normative world. We discuss the uncomfortable consequences of having few outlets and even fewer role models, needing to stay in the closet in order to protect your job or family, and the endless assumptions and misconceptions. But not to fear -- we also cover strategies to help you cope and thrive in a world that may just not understand your weird love life. 

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115 - Cooper S. Beckett on Swinger Resorts and Sexy Vacations

Multiamory is happy to have author, podcast host, and pegging enthusiast Cooper S. Beckett back on the show! Cooper came on our show way back in the early days to discuss his memoir, My Life on the Swingset, and this week we are discussing his brand new novel, Approaching the Swingularity. Join us for a discussion on sexy, swinging vacations, the intersection of swingers and polyamorists, and the delights of pegging. 

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114 - Privilege and Polyamory

This week, we are discussing privilege and polyamory -- the different advantages and disadvantages that we often forget about when approaching non-traditional relationships. This is a hot-button topic that often sparks emotions and defensiveness, but we wanted to open up the conversation, daunting as it is. In this episode, we discuss many different factors that affect privilege -- race, class, skin color, gender identity, disability, just to name a few in a very long list. 

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113 - What is Romantic Love? (with philosopher Carrie Jenkins)

Multiamory is very excited to sit down with philosopher Carrie Jenkins, author of the newly released book What Love Is and What It Could Be. Carrie has been polyamorous for a number of years, and after having her relationships accused of not embodying "real love," she was inspired to get to the bottom of the age old question: what is love? In this episode, we deconstruct our preconceived ideas of love and commitment, and also why it is important for people in non-monogamous relationships to examine the nature of romantic relationships.

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