Today we're diving deep into the world of drama! Have you ever met someone who just seems to thrive on it? Or maybe you've seen a bit of that drama-lover in yourself? We're going to be talking about why some of us need drama in our lives (there's science behind it!), and discussing some of the behaviors and whys behind a need for drama.
Read MoreToday we're talking about the five different communication styles in order to help us identify some of the healthy and unhealthy ways we might be expressing ourselves. If we can learn to assert ourselves in a healthy, respectful way, it can improve the quality of our relationships, along with overall wellbeing and happiness. We'll go over some tools and techniques we can use to start improving our quality of communication.
Read MoreToday we're talking about aggressive fairness in non-monogamy. We all want equitable relationships, but in a relationship style as fluid as non-monogamy there is often more to consider than simple fairness. We'll be exploring what aggressive fairness means and looks like, discuss what fair means for a relationship (non-monogamous and monogamous), and talk about some helpful ways you can find solutions to the questions around equity and fairness.
Read MoreToday we're discussing emotional safety and how our close relationships can provide a safe and comforting way to enhance our positive emotions and regulate our negative ones. Unfortunately, many relationships are lacking the feeling of safety and support necessary to facilitate honest emotional expression. We are going to look at a couple recent research questionnaires that set out to measure these qualities of our relationships and see how we can use them to improve our own romantic and platonic relationships.
This week we're highlighting an interview Dedeker did on Rachel Krantz's show, Help Existing. Rachel is also the author of Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy. Rachel and Dedeker have a great conversation about boundaries, covering topics like, How do you figure out what your boundaries are? How should you go about communicating boundaries in a way that is both firm and compassionate? How can you remain flexible and open to change without having porous boundaries? Do the same strategies apply to both familial and romantic relationships?
Make sure you check out more of Rachel's show!
We're continuing our Q&A episode today with guest Kitty Stryker. Kitty has been working on defining and creating a consent culture for over 13 years through her writing, workshops, and website consentculture.com. She's the editor of "Ask: Building Consent Culture," author of "Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook," and is especially interested in bringing conversations about consent out of the bedroom into everyday life. In her copious free time, Kitty works as a street medic for direct actions, plays Dungeons and Dragons, volunteers at the local animal shelter, and cares for her two cats. She identifies as queer, asexual, sober, anarchist, and femme.
Read MoreToday we have a special guest who has been on our show before! Kitty Stryker has been working on defining and creating a consent culture for over 13 years through her writing, workshops, and website consentculture.com. She's the editor of "Ask: Building Consent Culture," author of "Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook," and is especially interested in bringing conversations about consent out of the bedroom into everyday life. In her copious free time, Kitty works as a street medic for direct actions, plays Dungeons and Dragons, volunteers at the local animal shelter, and cares for her two cats. She identifies as queer, asexual, sober, anarchist, and femme.
Kitty joins us today to help answer some of our listener questions in another Q&A episode.
Read MoreToday we're discussing aromanticism and aromantic partnerships! A lot of us have heard of asexuality, but the spectrum of aromanticism is a little less widely known. Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction to people of any gender, and lacks interest in having romantic relationships, but that doesn't mean the connections they may form with others are lesser than those of us who have romantic partnerships. We're going to discuss the spectrum of aromanticism, some of the common challenges and misconceptions aromantic people might face, and share some thoughts from some of our listeners who identify as aromantic or have aromantic partners.
Visit https://www.aromanticism.org/en/faq for a great resource on aromanticism!
Read MoreToday, we're talking about the quality of relationships, and not necessarily romantic ones, and how they can have significant positive effects on your mental, emotional, and physical health. We'll talk about some research findings and discuss some practical ways you can make positive change in all your relationships.
Read MoreAs one of the common pop psychology buzzwords on social media today, we've all heard the word "toxic" applied to different situations and relationships. But with the uptick in usage that is sometimes not always accurate or detailed, we can lose sight of its meaning.
Today's episode is a lengthy dive into what it really means to be toxic, exploring some common bad behaviors and why they happen. Finally, we're going to leave you with some tangible ways to make positive changes without blame or shame.
We're back with another Q&A episode, and this time we're joined by Leanne Yau, aka Poly Philia!
Leanne is a polyamory educator and sex-positive influencer. She creates and curates humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity, and was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's '10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok'. Leanne has been actively non-monogamous since she was 17 years old, and her content draws from her own experiences as a bisexual, neurodivergent, Chinese woman based in the UK. Leanne also launched the Happy Polydays podcast, narrated a number of polyamory audiobooks, created the #PolyamoryTipoftheDay series, and provides non-monogamous peer support to individuals and couples across the globe. She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist, and is on track to qualify in 2026.
If you'd like your question featured on one of our future Q&A episodes, consider joining our Patreon community!
Today we're joined by Irene Morning, MS, to discuss her book, The Polyamory Paradox, and to pick her brain about somatic coaching, her writing, and more!
Irene is a somatic pleasure coach, intimacy educator, polyamorous human, and author of the bestselling book, The Polyamory Paradox: Finding Your Confidence in Consensual Non-Monogamy. Through her coaching, workshops, writing, and in-person sex-positive events, she guides others in creating relationships that fulfill their unique needs and desires. Both her work and personal life revolve around the belief that centering our own pleasure is not only healing on an individual level, but also in service of interdependence and collective well being.
Even if you aren't a spiritual person or don't have a spiritual practice, we have strategies that allow us to avoid facing reality and minimize feeling difficult emotions during times of turmoil. We're going to discuss why we do this, what spiritual bypassing looks like in real life, and how to tell when you're engaging in healthy coping mechanisms versus unhealthy avoidance tactics.
Read MoreThis week's episode is for everyone out there who has had a loved one come out to them as non-monogamous. There are a lot of feelings that may come up; you may feel confused, afraid for their wellbeing, or you may have not even heard the term before at all. Listen to this episode where we go back to basics of non-monogamy, some tactics for reacting well to your loved one's journey, and future expectations.
Some resources: A fantastic, short book which provides a great jumping off point for those who are new to the concept of non-monogamy and want to learn more: https://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-Love-Polyamorous-Understanding/dp/0996460187/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1689193889&refinements=p_27%3ADr.+Elisabeth+Sheff&s=books&sr=1-5&text=Dr.+Elisabeth+Sheff
Very informative blog posts on Polyamory, family, and more by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door
Additional podcast episode on coming out to parents from our friend Libby Sinback: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-your-mom/id1487987837?i=1000554057851
Great crash course on polyamory, definitions, what it is and isn’t etc… https://unknownmetric.medium.com/the-coffee-break-polyamory-primer-6c64b4dc53de
Read MoreToday we're joined by Billy Procida to answer some more of our Patreon listeners' questions!
Billy Procida is a stand-up comedian in New York City where he runs a monthly naked comedy show. He's been published in Mashable and Marie Claire, and has interviewed his exes for over 9 years on The Manwhore Podcast [feel free to give a disclaimer that it's not exactly the bro show they'd expect from the title — it's kind of like Dan Savage meets Marc Maron. Or just read out this bracket note. If you do read this whole thing out, please then also include that he *is* single and available in case Susan Sarandon is listening.]
If you want your question answered on one of our future Q&A episodes, consider joining our Patreon community!
On today's episode, we're talking about honesty...honestly. Many of us are taught from childhood that honesty is the best policy, but is it really? We'll be talking about radical honesty, selfish honesty, when "just being honest" might mean "just being a jerk," and, as always, we'll be sharing one of our communication tools at the end of the episode to help you approach honesty in the most informed, nuanced way possible.
Read MoreWe talk a lot about polyamory and monogamy on this show, but what about ambiamory? You may have heard it floating around recently; today we're going to talk about what it is, some of the potential challenges that might face people who identify as ambiamorous, and continue the age-old conversation of identity versus preference when it comes to relationship styles.
Read MoreAre you ready to talk about jealousy again?! For today's episode we're joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton, the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is also a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and NPR. She’s spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.
Today, Joli is here to talk about her research on jealousy and go in depth about her five step approach to managing it, along with some of her other tools and experience she uses in her practice. Find more about her on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @drjoli_hamilton, and at www.JoliQuiz.com and www.theyearofopening.com.
Today's episode is a special crossover with actress, comedian, dating expert, and podcast host Natasha Chandel from the Kinda Dating podcast! Kinda Dating breaks down the modern dating world with different influential guests, exploring why so many of us have commitment issues. For this episode, we're discussing consensual non-monogamy in general, commitment and commitment-phobia, and much more!
Read MoreWe're back with another Q&A episode to answer some more listener questions! Today we're discussing open, honest conversations with non-romantic connections, feeling undesirable, romantic repulsion following multiple breakups/de-escalations, how to be a good hinge partner when starting new relationships, and more!
If you'd like to submit a question for our next Q&A episode, consider becoming a Patreon supporter and posting in our private community!
