430 - Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?

On today's episode, we're talking about honesty...honestly. Many of us are taught from childhood that honesty is the best policy, but is it really? We'll be talking about radical honesty, selfish honesty, when "just being honest" might mean "just being a jerk," and, as always, we'll be sharing one of our communication tools at the end of the episode to help you approach honesty in the most informed, nuanced way possible.

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428 - Unraveling Jealousy in Five Steps with Dr. Joli Hamilton

Are you ready to talk about jealousy again?! For today's episode we're joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton, the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is also a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and NPR. She’s spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

Today, Joli is here to talk about her research on jealousy and go in depth about her five step approach to managing it, along with some of her other tools and experience she uses in her practice. Find more about her on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @drjoli_hamilton, and at www.JoliQuiz.com and www.theyearofopening.com.

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427 - Is Non-Monogamy Just Commitment Phobia? Crossover Episode with Natasha Chandel of Kinda Dating

Today's episode is a special crossover with actress, comedian, dating expert, and podcast host Natasha Chandel from the Kinda Dating podcast! Kinda Dating breaks down the modern dating world with different influential guests, exploring why so many of us have commitment issues. For this episode, we're discussing consensual non-monogamy in general, commitment and commitment-phobia, and much more!

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426 - Repulsed by Romance or Just Numb? Listener Q&A

We're back with another Q&A episode to answer some more listener questions! Today we're discussing open, honest conversations with non-romantic connections, feeling undesirable, romantic repulsion following multiple breakups/de-escalations, how to be a good hinge partner when starting new relationships, and more!

If you'd like to submit a question for our next Q&A episode, consider becoming a Patreon supporter and posting in our private community!

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425 - Polyamorous Legal Rights: The Fight for Equality with Diana Adams Esq. and Dr. Heath Schechinger

For this week's episode, we're discussing the current political and legal landscape for polyamorous and non-monogamous folks. We're fortunate enough to be joined by two experts on this very matter, Dr. Heath Schechinger and Diana Adams!

Dr. Heath Schechinger is a distinguished psychologist, scholar, and educator in the field of relationship structure diversity. Over the past 15 years, his work has delved into the challenges of monogamy, infidelity, and the emergence of diverse family and relationship configurations. He is a founding Co-chair of the American Psychological Association Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy, Research Affiliate Faculty at The Kinsey Institute, Co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, and Board Member for the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. In addition to his roles in these organizations, he offers consultation services and maintains a private practice.

Diana Adams (they/them) is an international legal leader in advocacy for queer family forms beyond the romantic dyad. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit advocating for diverse family structures, & runs a boutique law firm providing mediation services nationwide for those hoping to negotiate intentional or polyamorous families. Diana’s TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ explains their expansive vision of family. Find them on all socials @DianaAdamsEsq.

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424 - Polysaturation: Exploring the Limits of Love

Today we're talking about saturation, or more specifically, polysaturation, or the state in which a polyamorous person has as many significant relationships as they can handle at a given time. We'll be discussing some factors that might influence polysaturation, such as time, distance, family, and health, as well as how it differs from burnout. Our goal is to better understand our own capacities and desires so we can better maintain balance and wellbeing, regardless of whether someone is monogamous or non-monogamous.

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423 - Boundaries are all about YourSELF

This week we're circling back to boundaries once again! In light of our book release, we're going to be sharing one of the special tools from it that we've come up with to enforce boundaries. But first, we'll go over what boundaries are, our take on what the difference between boundaries/rules/agreements, and talk about why we need boundaries in our lives.

For more episodes about boundaries, revisit episodes 178: The Basics of Boundaries, 227: Rules and Agreements ft. Boundaries, and 372: Needs, Desires, Boundaries, and More.

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422 - Are You Polyamorous or Just Pretending? Listener Q&A with Jessica Esfandiary

This week we're joined by Jessica Esfandiary for another Q&A episode to answer some more listener questions! Today we'll tackle topics like enjoying fun experiences without your partner, dating polyamorous newbies, imposter syndrome, and more!

Jessica is a dynamic writer, speaker, and podcast host whose expertise lies in the realm of open relationships and how the principles of these types of connections can be applied to everyday life. She is also the host of the Open Late podcast.

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420 - Courage for Hard Conversations

Today's episode we're revisiting difficult conversations. In any relationship, there are often hard, emotional, or awkward conversations that we tend to avoid. Whether we're working through a conflict, setting boundaries, making a request, disclosing information, tackling a taboo topic, etc., it helps to understand why we have inhibitions when it comes to these discussions. We're going to talk today about the maladaptive ways we might try to get out of conversations we deem uncomfortable and some better ways to tackle them instead!

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418 - Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

Spring is coming up, and so today we're talking about spring cleaning our relationships! Spring is a great time to do a big tidy up of your home, but cleaning up your relationships is beneficial as well, whether it's your romantic ones, friends, social media follows, or even coworkers. We'll be discussing how we can celebrate our relationships, mend ones that need some clean-up, and when we might need to let them go. Additionally, we'll be covering how to clean up your relationship with yourself, like clearing mental clutter, planting seeds for new growth, and getting out of your comfort zone for your own health and happiness.

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417 - Are "Safe Spaces" Possible in Relationships?

This week, we're joined by one of our research assistants, Dr. Keyanah Nurse, to talk about safe spaces in the context of relationships. During this episode, we go into detail about the history of safe spaces on college campuses and how they have been used for various social justice movements, as well as considerations for making intimate relationships safer.

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416 - Neurodiversity and the Benefits and Challenges of Non-Monogamy (with author Alyssa Gonzalez)

We're so excited to be joined by author Alyssa Gonzalez for today's episode! She is the author of Non-monogamy and Neurodiversity, which was published in February 2023.

Alyssa is a biology Ph.D., professional speaker, and writer. Her fiction uses science-fiction and fantasy elements to explore social isolation, autism, gender, trauma, and the relationships between all these things. She writes at The Perfumed Void (the-orbit.net/alyssa), on the subjects of biology, history and her experiences as an autistic ex-Catholic Hispanic transgender immigrant to Canada. She has also written a book about polyamory from a neurodivergent perspective. She lives in Ottawa, Canada with a menagerie of pets.

Today, Alyssa discusses her writing process and journey with us, traits of neurodiversity that make non-monogamy easier and more difficult respectively, stigma and tropes around neurodivergence, and more!

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415 - Tricky Relationship Situations: Rebuilding Friendships, Setting Boundaries, and Managing Trauma

Let's dive into another Q&A episode with some questions from our Patreon supporters! This week we're talking about rebuilding friendship with exes, discovering one's own boundaries, managing past relationship trauma, how to give advice about non-monogamy, and more.

If you'd like to submit a question of your own, consider becoming one of our Patreon supporters!

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414 - To Come Out or Not to Come Out with Martha Kauppi

Martha Kauppi has rejoined us today to talk about coming out of the closet and how it relates in particular to the intersection of our professional and personal lives.

For those who are just meeting her, Martha is a therapist, author, speaker, and educator specializing in complex relational therapy, sex issues, and alternative family structures. She trains therapists all over the world to work more effectively with a broad range of sex issues, and with clients who are in open relationships. She is the author of the groundbreaking new book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients).

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413 - Gay and Polyamorous Representation with Frank Smith

This week we're joined by a very special guest, Frank Arthur Smith, a queer writer/director/actor/producer originally from Boston, Massachusetts. His LGBTQIA+ comedy series, Open To It, in which he stars, writes, directs, and Executive Produces, was an Official Selection of festivals including: Outfest, where it received two special encore screenings; Rio LGBTQIA+ Film Festival, where it was the opening night film; Wicked Queer: Boston’s LGBTQIA+ Film Festival, where it won the Audience Award for Best Comedy Short; as well as the inaugural Gay Binge Film Festival, where it won the Special Jury Prize for Best Performance.

Today, Frank discusses normalizing non-monogamy, sex positivity, and the creation of his queer comedy web series, Open To It, which you can learn more about at www.opentoitseries.com.

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412 - Judaism and Polyamory (with Rabbi Nikki DeBlosi)

This week we're joined by Rabbi Nikki DeBlosi, PhD. She is a queer, polyamorous, entrepreneurial rabbi who brings expertise in queer theory and belonging to Jewish teaching and ritual. She holds a BA in Women’s and Gender Studies from Harvard University, an MA and a PhD in Performance Studies from New York University, and an MA in Hebrew Language and Letters and rabbinic ordination from the Hebrew Union College - Jewish Institute of Religion.

Throughout this episode, Rabbi Nikki discusses polyamory in Judaism, her article published in The Reform Jewish Quarterly Fall 2022 “The Family Issue,” her own lifecycle and ritual work, religious texts from a Jewish perspective, and more!

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411 - What’s Your Price of Admission?

This week, we're talking about annoyances and deal breakers in terms of relationships. We're exploring the possibility that in this age of online dating, maybe we've all become a little too picky about our potential partnerships, and that could be causing us to miss out on or prematurely cast aside some really wonderful connections! We'll be discussing deal breakers, perpetual problems, and the concept of "the price of admission."

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